I am in NIGHTMARE

June almost end, how i wish July is tomorrow...that is because my tender date for the project i am workin on is the last day of June!!! Really a nightmare... hate it!

I will be going to Hong Kong Mid of Oct to Mid of Dec...yeah finally the date is set.
Now...should i stay there till christmas or new year?? But i am sure i will miss home by then..Fran said he will come over and visit me ...but i will miss him for sure...

Coming Oct is our 3 year anniversary...been a while....we more or less settle down...
but still a lot to compromise... anyway we will work things out...that is life...

Working in a big company is really helps tp grow one person.... I truely think that i improve and strenghten my design skill and ability... I hope the HK trip helps in certain way to expose my experience and horizon...

Must go find some info abt where to go in HK!!! Must prepare and have hell lot of fun there!!

Managing the expectation

I learned a new word today....which i love it...

Managing the expectation...it is a really nice way of saying that dun expect too much from me...hehe...

I really hate the project which i am workin on it now... I hope it will end soon....
god bless...

Actually thought of workin over this weekend...but damn it...i am not going to care now...wait till monday then face the music..

Finally is weekend...can rest and do nothing...:)

HAPPY WEEKEND!!

Monday Blue Love

Today is monday, blue blue monday...send my car for servicing so had to collect it after work... spend money again...i think is not easy to save ...i really had problem with it... no way in this life time to be rich...so let's be it...live a happy life and die when it is my time....


Took a bus to the service centre and pass-by orchard road, a busy shopping belt of singapore. Took a picture of the blue LOVE... I always like it when i pass by the area.

Celebrating my new HP

Finally got the N70 HP...used it to take my first pic...

U can see this is my work desk at home and my Mr Bean bear bear which fran bought for me during the last KL trip....:)

Is fun to play around the HP..so advance than my old one...just manage to set up the email in it. so i can receive email with my hp too...:)

Now can go around to shoot ...heehee


There is a press release on friday afternoon.. was wonder any of my drawing being print! I run through all the newspaper and finally saw my drawing on a local chinese newspaper..and it was quite a big print..hehee...not bad huh... I am proud of my work so far at lease i am good enough ...

Happy Me!!

Friday Sick Day

Got MC this morning..is really a bad nite last night...had to wake up very offen just to blow my nose... feels very dizzy and weak after the medication.is really a good rest after that...

Tomorrow is a good day!! I will be able to upgrade my HP then!! been eyeing at the Nokia N70 for days...finally able to get it!!! would love to take pic and post it here...The blog will be more colorful then..hehee...

So bore and come across this test...heehee...quite interesting...

Your Birthdate: September 5

You have many talents, and you are great at sharing those talents with others. Most people would be jealous of your clever intellect, but you're just too likeable to elicit jealousy. Progressive and original, you're usually thinking up cutting edge ideas. Quick witted and fast thinking, you have difficulty finding new challenges. Your strength: Your superhuman brainpower Your weakness: Your susceptibility to boredom Your power color: Tangerine Your power symbol: Ace Your power month: May

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Sick Day....

Don't feel well since last nite...very bad sore throat. Tried having Vitamin C drink but still it hurts bad in the middle of the nite... Hate the feeling..

Got to go on site meeting in the morning...lucky very near to my place... another big project again...

Finally reach office before noon....lunch... back to work again...

And i got some news...i apply for a short term attachment oversea.. got the answer today. Will get to go Hong Kong...not bad huh..

Actually right now, i am really not feeling good..took some medication from the last doctor visit... sure have a good sleep tonight...

13June...Tuesday

I guess being lazy is human nature..hahaha...it has been weeks since i last update my blog. Chatted with Daniel last nite and he asked me why i stopped? Cos he checked on my site religously...hahaha...no lah...just kidding...

Of course, a lot of thing happened to me from early May to now...well, to summarise.
Kat, my best pal finally moved back home. I missed her indeed. She SMS me while she took her coach home on her very last trip. A sense of lost just suddenly come over me, i weeped... is like empty void in my heart. After all these year, i know is not easy to find a good friend. Through experience..i know... It take fate, trust and understanding.

Recently, a colleague stopped talking to me, totally. And i respect her will and choice. Initially i started to question myself, did i do something wrong? Am i not good enough? I began to question my character...After some talk with other friends. i begin to accept and respect her choice. We still not talking...

I am not changing for anyone.. i simply believe accept a person as what he is...dun try to mold or change a person character... I am what i am ...at this age of coming 35... i am old enough to be myself.

Fran and me with jessie and husband went for a road trip to KL mid May... it was a fun trip...visited kat new house and did some shopping...Trip to KL is always fun.

Job wise. Very happy so far. As my hard work pay off...never been so satify in work..
Finally people see what i am doing.. A good news.... there will be a press release this coming friday. For a big project in 2008. My work will be send to all newspaper and TV....I dun wanna be famous...i just wanna be rich...I guess hard work need to pay off before they recogise u and give u a healthy pay raise huh ...hahaha...

Everything is looking good so far....work, love and family... now i just need another holiday.....hahaha... but i am still broke ....how har????

Sunday Sian...

What a long weekend...labour day holiday...i had quite a good rest.

First of all, Jessie/sandy/wei siong and me had a good fight over the mahjong table..from 4 pm till 2 am yesterday, we had 3 rounds of game, the first two i lose abt $15.00. But lucky at the last game, i won $20 so end up i won $5.00 more..hahaha very fun but very tired. I guess we are not young anymore so staying up late really can kill.

Today, Frans invited me to his colleague's condo for a pot luck thingy. Can swim and sun tan.. but the weather lately is quite moody...so wonder will it rain...really restless, cos back in my mind i know i still have a project on hand that need to complete by this weekend...

Been very faithful to the gym lately, cos i really can see some development below my shirt. The body looks good to me..hahaha...getting older and is my last chance to take care otherwise it may be too late...:P but i still didnt lose much weight, just have a nice tone body now. I hope my waist can cut down a bit more.. the worst thing abt me is, i always have this concept that since i work out i can affort to eat a bit more..so i can never get rid of the tire in the middle session.

Was intro to a young gay couple website lately, is quite funny to read about their life. i guess i had passed their age. Me and frans are not that loving...hahaha we dun really said it out.. maybe we are more friend than couple now..who knows.. Like what monica told me, we are just lonely that is why we hold on to each other..

I guess living in a city.. as gay man...closet one..is not so easy...i find it hard , as i still mind how people look at me. Although i work hard at work but i believe the conservative society still care. Working with gay people...although i know in our creative line, there are many PLU but i really dun wanna risk.

Kat is moving back home. She is such a dear friend, i can talk to her about my problem and stuffs. Now moving away from singapore, it may be hard to really call and chat.. I sincerely wish her good luck back home and be a happy house wife to be..hahaha..

Sat, my resting day-April22

Time really pass fast...maybe i am getting older now..started to like those songs that i dislike in the past. hahaha..yeah so funny, right? I really like music whenever i passby a music store, i will just go in and walk one round, i dun buy as many CD as before. very selective nowadays... was jalan jalan at a pasan manan last nite. As u know they always have a CD store selling cheap CDs. They were playing Chen bai Qiang on air. Dun really like him, but his (only love u) really sounds good to me then....i am old now..

SG, Tang, Mar and Woof are working their ass off on this sat ....now...saw them on MSN...they are good people and i respect them... SG once told me i over-work for the company, cos i work over few weekends in a row...but situation put me in a position that i had no choice but to stay back...anyway, everyone is unhappy...

The system or the way this comapny work is a bit weird. Just that the unhappiness grow deeper and deeper..sooner or later all the good people wanna leave, but there is no cure to it.. is so weird how these changes develop...I am part of the group.
Maybe cos i am a bit careless and living in my own world...i am better off, cos i only get hurt if i know too much..the problem with me is i dun think far..i just be happy with what i am doing in that moment. and hope everyone around me are happy.

So, how should i spend my weekend....bake roti? or go gym? Life is boring in singapore...help help..

My DNA report

My Personal Dna Report

Above is an Online test that i take few days back...quite interesting...

Anyway, we had a long weekend this week...been restless....cos need to go back office to finish up my project. Finally done at abt 3pm just now. Back home, restless...dunno what to do...

Attended Angela wedding, an expensive and up class wedding. My pocket had a big hole now...knowing that i will never have one in my life time...

Meeting fran later for movie...restless...oh maybe should go hiking again!!!

Ha, we went hiking on good friday, early morning at 11am....well...half way it rain....really heavy and thunder roar !!! well, i enjoy the rain and the hike...
it smoothe my stressful mind and take away my worry...sometime, getting away break all stress..

April Rest

Been a long long long time since i last update my blog. I believe my friends out there thought i am dead...anyway i am still kicking and alive.

Ok, let me update what happened lately in my happy life in the "shit hole".

Honestly, One had to be happy in his job. To stay happy is an art. Working in big organization and working with people is not an easy task. I find that i am more and more ..well i can only say plastic. I always joke about becoming a tupperware. anyway job is always there, even if u die one day the company wont wind up cos u are dead.

i was very busy last few weeks, been workin on a project for almost 3 to 4 weekend..I was tired, mentally....after some rest i am feeling better now. I learned a lesson from here... U will enjoy your work if u put your heart into it but hey dun do it blindly... at least have to be appreciated.. My boss was blind... he never realised that i was workin over few weekend and i am tired... end up he said...he dun know cos i didnt voice out and tell him... do i need to be vocal?? to be loud ...??

I really learn a lot in the shit hole...i believe i changed my way...from treating people to thinking way ahead...although i am not as good as some girls...the things is i hate to be the one left behind not knowing things around me... Is a sad way of looking at life...I am not an actor nor a star. why i need to act and not be myself.

I guess i had my happy days when i was a freelancer few years back...and now i am fallen angel into this shit hole...

Let's pray for me not be a prey in this shit hole to those ugly politic....

Sat-Jan21

One more week to Chinese New Year... busy busy busy. With office work and also home. Today they are coming to install a kitchen sliding door...cos my mom is a super oily chef! Everytime when she cook, goodness, the whole house will be full of smoke...
So no choice have to spend money on the partition.

A new year ... i hope everything will be on a right track. I am so hopeless in life. Guess i am not brave enough. Once u shown weakess, people will try to take advantage of u. I am tired.. Am i not good enough?

I believe i did my best in my job. But something just not right...maybe i am just too senitive.. Sometime i just wonder how long i will live before i really rest.

Better dont think too much...must stay positive.. God, give me strenght to carry on..

Have a good weekend..

Tuesday-Jan10

Another raining day.....rain rain rain....

Been a bit restless lately, maybe due to too many holiday?? of course i am not complaining it.. just that i find it hard to go back to work... See...Chinese new year end of the month, from Jan29 to Jan31. Eat and eat, sure grow fat!!

Was at work yesterday and my collegue show me in her pc, the photographs that she took in Ministry of Sound ( a new night spot in town that open just last month )..
We went there after our D&D.

Is really fun with a group of colleagues.We drank, drunk, dance, play games....some puke like me, some fall, some strip like me, some cry, some enjoy like me...haha...what a night. I manage to reach home by 430am. Goodness, is not easy to drive when u drank so much .... lucky nothing happened.

I truely enjoy that night of fun and god, i am blessed with fun and caring friends around me. Thank you...

Been raining this week... so can only stay home play game or read.. find that there is so much thing can be done...just lack of time.

Jan09-Monday

Been 2 weeks since i last update my blog. So what have i been up to?? Well, festive seasons so a good reason to eat and have fun. Reality soon settle in... how much weight i gain..hmmm, i dunno...guess the machine at home is not that functioning...anyway, so much fun that night after the D&D, last friday.

The theme for this year Dinner and Dance is around the world, and our table we dress up as a cow-boy. It suits me as i am tall and handsome..:P and the BEST thing is i was also being pull up to that stage for some dance thing with the 2 PRETTY dancers!!
I will never forget that night...

I even win in the lucky-draw. number 19....so far away huh...A package to a photo studio for family photo taking. I was actually a bit disppointed then but come to think about it, my family never took any studio shoot before and i will never come up with this idea. So in a way, maybe is a blessing.

Will write more when i am in office....now i am late for work..

MerryChristmas,Sunday- Dec25

Is a sunday morning, christmas day morning. No snow, no bell, no money...

Well, in life what do u want? I just wish to be happy. Happy at work, happy in love, happy with friends, happy with no worries. I think that is not easy to achieve... Why? Because living in singapore is expensive, i got to pay this, pay that. I can said that my bonus already 100% gone....cos everything goes to pay the bill..... when can i start saving? save me and my old age... Maybe i ask for too much, end up this is the price that i had to pay. All i am askin is to have a comforable life, maybe i am just too materialistic, huh? I should control!!

Life have been good lately, i must say. Especially after i started my meditation, feels good. I hope to achieve a better life, a more creative mind and a more rewarding self development.

What year 2006 install for me? i wish for world peace.

Merry Christmas to all that are reading this....I love you.

Wed-Dec14

Came Back from KL yesterday. Been a good rest, we usually start our day at 9am, with breakfast in the hotel then shop till 3pm. Back to hotel for a nap. after a good rest we will then start shopping again...:) Although we walked a lot but i guess we control our money quite well.... end up i only bought few t shirt and dvds.

I truely enjoy the shopping a lot, i wish i can go again next year. Is fun to drive up and take a short break.

Will be on leave today and tomorrow. Will be back to office on friday, for gift exchange. :) fun fun fun...

May go for meditation lesson later in the evening. will see how it goes ....

Sat-Dec17

We are leaving for KL tomorrow, Sunday morning.We will be there till Tuesday, a short break. Staying at our favourite hotel, the Istana. Life suddenly move slow for me...maybe lately my job was on a fast lane and now on leave...everything seems slow down...Feels also very restless.

Will be back to office on Dec23 for the gift ex-change. Everyone is in holiday mood.
Wish i am in Grand Junction. If u wanna know where that is. Go yahoo and search for it. hahaha...

Verner, Merry Christmas and i will save up enough to visit u next christmas!

Relax Sunday- Dec11

I had a very stress work days last week...never been that bad before. Everything is in a stressful situation and people watching over me.I am truely glad that all turn out well and i am on safe ground. The last few days has been a passing phase.... can't think of much thing. My mind is telling me to rest and relax... end up i went for a movie with Fran. Aero Flux...not bad a movie and is very stylishly done. Reading in Border after the movie..i know i am insane to keep lookin for books on spirtual or tarot..hahaha... anyway is some good reading material...

Sunday, a very slow day... i think i am lazy in natural....cos i basically do nothing the whole day... hahaha

Making plan for christmas...dunno where to go...so sian...

Happy Weekend- Nov27

Finally come to weekend..Really looking forward to this day as I had booked a musical several weeks ago and today, 26nov is the day. It was also intentionaly Fran birthday gift. It rained very heavily in the morning when i am picking Fran up from his office. Luckily nothing happened..cos i almost knock into a lamp pole.

RENT, about the lives and loves of a group of struggling young artist, gay, lesb and straight. I love the music and the act since I watched many years ago. Karan act and sing well in the show and I am glad that I catched this ...

After the show, was about evening time... Decided to go funan for dinner...The objective is really to go to somewhere nearby to take aura photo...Indeed a unique and special moment for me. As u can see I am in light of orange/yellow..
and the explanation is so me...:) I am glad that it did not show the ugly me as the light is all over me..hahaha... They also include a quite detail explaination of the light zone and its meaning.. The picture is not ex and cost a merely $10, i strongly encourage whoever into discovering themselve, go and get one soon...



It tells that on the rightside(expression...The color that I putting out to the world...) My color is green/yellow: the world sees me as cheerful, happy and confident. Yellow is the color of sunshine, warmth and intellectual capability, while green is the color of healing, self confident and discipline. Ochre, a blending of these two colors show that i am an optimistic, practical and thoughtful attitude. I may often find myself in the center of attention or in a leadership role...( I know that i am a happy man, only under certain situation that will put me down. It sounds quite true and accurate )

On the center(experience...The color that seen over my head now...The color that best describe me, or what I wish to be)...M color is orange: I can't help expressing myself creatively! I am an artist at heart and march to the beat of different drummer. Right now I am feeling powerful I have the energy, enthusiasm, confident and will to accomplish anything that I desire. Orange is also the color of originality and independence....( I know that there is a change in me lately, maybe due to the change of role and team in the office, the whole me feels different. I am in a more relax position. I am still trying to adjust myself to the whole situation)

On the Left side(future...The color or vibration coming into my being)...My color is Golden orange: my future is bound to be thought provoking as well as highly creative. Activity generating energy is coming into my field. This shade of golden orange is a mixture of active red and intellectual yellow. In this position of my auric field indicates that a very creative and intellectually stimulating future lies in store for me. Inspired ideas are already unfolding within me. I also can enjoy life as I wish...( I truely believe something is going to happen, cos i have call up for a lesson of healing workshop. It is something new and exciting to me. Next sunday is the day and i really looking forward to it, I am sure there is a big change coming)

On the throat(Communication...Is traditionally the energy being expressed)...My color is Golden orange: I can't help expressing myself joyfully and creatively. Happiness, excitement and humor is what I most desire in my life. I spread sunshine wherever I go. My voice is my instrument. I may enjoy singing, acting, telling jokes and stories or just chatting with friends... People find me a pleasurable, lively and entertaining companion. I am warm, outgoing and sociable.( This i have to admit, I like to share my happiness and small talk to whoever knows me..Oveall i hope i am a fun guy that people like to hang around with)

On the heart(Empathy...The vibration coming into my being)...My color is green/yellow: what I desired in life is to heal and nuture others with my humor and optimistic. I am fun-loving and carefree yet I feel a responsibility and desire to counsel and help people with their problems and challenges. I have deep insight and empathy into what others are experiencing, but I have the unique ability to remain centered and amused when all else is falling into chaos around me. My humor is often my strength and saving grace.( Well, maybe because of where i am now, a senior in the company, i really need to look after some junior colleague. In my heart i feels that we are all adult, we should know the limits to the fun and should concentrate in job when the time call)

On the Solar Plexis( normally the center vibration of my being, associated with power, money...It is also the center of self esteem and ego)... My color is yellow: Like the rising sun, yellow brings forth warmth and light. Yellow are representative of the intellect. Each shade or tint of yellow expresses a type of function, ability or expression of the intellect. I am filled with a sense of excitement and joy. I probably feel happy and confident as I discovered my life's work. I have the confident to accomplish anything I desire to do. I laugh easily and are amused by life.( well i do enjoy my job to an extend, So far i am happy there. Now with most of my debt clear, i am happy to be able to enjoy it more without thinking too much on how much more money that i need to folk out)

Should I leave out the color for sex..heehee that a bit too personal mann...Hahaha...Anyway the color is GOLDEN ORANGE...Also means for friendship, socializing, having fun and being myself are what I wish to focus on now. I make my work and chores a pleasure and strive to enjoy every moment. I have a great sense of humor and laugh easily. My life is a fun and creative project. I am also able to relate to others in a warm, open and friendly way. ( yeah, i am enjoying my life now. At this age of mine, i dont wanna lead a boring and restless life. That is why i go gym, roller brading and now my passion is find out more abt the spiritual me)

On the root( traditionally the energy of the physical plane and material reality)..
My color is yellow: Fun is what I am concentrate on now. No matter what I am doing, it needs to be an enjoyable experience. I may be successful in my business if it is fun and creative for me. The world sees me as cheerful, happy, playful, carefree and lucky. Yellow is the color of sunshine and warmth.. My personality is definitely outgoing and optimistic. I may often find myself the center of attention, others see me as radiant and self-expressive.( Well, guess that i am a born designer huh hahaha. Not born to be rich, that means)

OK...The last is the summary...My overall( Summarizes the color intensities of the various elements of my aura(chakras) and the overall condition of my being: My color is GOLD.... In the near future I will have the opportunities to be an inspiration to many people. I glow with a beautiful inner light that people instantly recognize and respond to. I am full of hope, inspiration, utopian ideals and zeal. I easily inspire others with my optimism and excitement with new ideas. I have quick, curious mind always happy and hungry for new learning. I am happy to be what I am and I feel confident to accomplish anything that I want. ( A inspiration to many people?? wow what a big role and i dun think i am such a person, I means my character wasnt that out spoken...will see how it leads me to...True that i like to learn new things, but how long the passion will last? i dunno..i was also known to only have 3mins passion type of guy....hahaha...)

wow ....God...This is the longest blog I ever write hahaha...Indeed it is an experience or lesson learned from the aura photo, it teach me and tell me who I am..
for friends who knows me...This is me...

Tired Sunday- Nov20

That was 15 days, two weeks ago since i last update my blog.... guess i am too lazy nowadays.....had a terrible flu last few day..finally got some rest and feels much better now...

It was a horrify night last night...went to bed at 110am and woke up from my short term dream....open up my big black eyes...into the dark, i think i saw something...
trying to figure out what the F is that...and it seems clearer to me that is a face of a girl....end up i scream so loud and on and on.. never been so extreme in my life.. my brother and mom who are in the living room thought the scream was from the TV..hahaha...but hell that really scare the hell out of me... i dare not close my eyes... in the dark... in my open and empty mind ....i waited..time just stood still.. finally i on my bedside lamp... feels so awake...( remember i took the flu medication earlier before i go to bed..) decided to read and keep myself busy and ....i only manage to sleep at 4am...wake up again at 5:59am..thinking to myself..soon the sun will be out...

I wake up with a very tired mind and god.... so so sleepy.... anyway i am ok now..i will light up my candle now before i go to sleep so that at least i wont wake up in the pitch dark room...

Time to sleep now... and tomorrow is another new day...