Sunday Sian...

What a long weekend...labour day holiday...i had quite a good rest.

First of all, Jessie/sandy/wei siong and me had a good fight over the mahjong table..from 4 pm till 2 am yesterday, we had 3 rounds of game, the first two i lose abt $15.00. But lucky at the last game, i won $20 so end up i won $5.00 more..hahaha very fun but very tired. I guess we are not young anymore so staying up late really can kill.

Today, Frans invited me to his colleague's condo for a pot luck thingy. Can swim and sun tan.. but the weather lately is quite moody...so wonder will it rain...really restless, cos back in my mind i know i still have a project on hand that need to complete by this weekend...

Been very faithful to the gym lately, cos i really can see some development below my shirt. The body looks good to me..hahaha...getting older and is my last chance to take care otherwise it may be too late...:P but i still didnt lose much weight, just have a nice tone body now. I hope my waist can cut down a bit more.. the worst thing abt me is, i always have this concept that since i work out i can affort to eat a bit more..so i can never get rid of the tire in the middle session.

Was intro to a young gay couple website lately, is quite funny to read about their life. i guess i had passed their age. Me and frans are not that loving...hahaha we dun really said it out.. maybe we are more friend than couple now..who knows.. Like what monica told me, we are just lonely that is why we hold on to each other..

I guess living in a city.. as gay man...closet one..is not so easy...i find it hard , as i still mind how people look at me. Although i work hard at work but i believe the conservative society still care. Working with gay people...although i know in our creative line, there are many PLU but i really dun wanna risk.

Kat is moving back home. She is such a dear friend, i can talk to her about my problem and stuffs. Now moving away from singapore, it may be hard to really call and chat.. I sincerely wish her good luck back home and be a happy house wife to be..hahaha..

Sat, my resting day-April22

Time really pass fast...maybe i am getting older now..started to like those songs that i dislike in the past. hahaha..yeah so funny, right? I really like music whenever i passby a music store, i will just go in and walk one round, i dun buy as many CD as before. very selective nowadays... was jalan jalan at a pasan manan last nite. As u know they always have a CD store selling cheap CDs. They were playing Chen bai Qiang on air. Dun really like him, but his (only love u) really sounds good to me then....i am old now..

SG, Tang, Mar and Woof are working their ass off on this sat ....now...saw them on MSN...they are good people and i respect them... SG once told me i over-work for the company, cos i work over few weekends in a row...but situation put me in a position that i had no choice but to stay back...anyway, everyone is unhappy...

The system or the way this comapny work is a bit weird. Just that the unhappiness grow deeper and deeper..sooner or later all the good people wanna leave, but there is no cure to it.. is so weird how these changes develop...I am part of the group.
Maybe cos i am a bit careless and living in my own world...i am better off, cos i only get hurt if i know too much..the problem with me is i dun think far..i just be happy with what i am doing in that moment. and hope everyone around me are happy.

So, how should i spend my weekend....bake roti? or go gym? Life is boring in singapore...help help..

My DNA report

My Personal Dna Report

Above is an Online test that i take few days back...quite interesting...

Anyway, we had a long weekend this week...been restless....cos need to go back office to finish up my project. Finally done at abt 3pm just now. Back home, restless...dunno what to do...

Attended Angela wedding, an expensive and up class wedding. My pocket had a big hole now...knowing that i will never have one in my life time...

Meeting fran later for movie...restless...oh maybe should go hiking again!!!

Ha, we went hiking on good friday, early morning at 11am....well...half way it rain....really heavy and thunder roar !!! well, i enjoy the rain and the hike...
it smoothe my stressful mind and take away my worry...sometime, getting away break all stress..

April Rest

Been a long long long time since i last update my blog. I believe my friends out there thought i am dead...anyway i am still kicking and alive.

Ok, let me update what happened lately in my happy life in the "shit hole".

Honestly, One had to be happy in his job. To stay happy is an art. Working in big organization and working with people is not an easy task. I find that i am more and more ..well i can only say plastic. I always joke about becoming a tupperware. anyway job is always there, even if u die one day the company wont wind up cos u are dead.

i was very busy last few weeks, been workin on a project for almost 3 to 4 weekend..I was tired, mentally....after some rest i am feeling better now. I learned a lesson from here... U will enjoy your work if u put your heart into it but hey dun do it blindly... at least have to be appreciated.. My boss was blind... he never realised that i was workin over few weekend and i am tired... end up he said...he dun know cos i didnt voice out and tell him... do i need to be vocal?? to be loud ...??

I really learn a lot in the shit hole...i believe i changed my way...from treating people to thinking way ahead...although i am not as good as some girls...the things is i hate to be the one left behind not knowing things around me... Is a sad way of looking at life...I am not an actor nor a star. why i need to act and not be myself.

I guess i had my happy days when i was a freelancer few years back...and now i am fallen angel into this shit hole...

Let's pray for me not be a prey in this shit hole to those ugly politic....

Sat-Jan21

One more week to Chinese New Year... busy busy busy. With office work and also home. Today they are coming to install a kitchen sliding door...cos my mom is a super oily chef! Everytime when she cook, goodness, the whole house will be full of smoke...
So no choice have to spend money on the partition.

A new year ... i hope everything will be on a right track. I am so hopeless in life. Guess i am not brave enough. Once u shown weakess, people will try to take advantage of u. I am tired.. Am i not good enough?

I believe i did my best in my job. But something just not right...maybe i am just too senitive.. Sometime i just wonder how long i will live before i really rest.

Better dont think too much...must stay positive.. God, give me strenght to carry on..

Have a good weekend..

Tuesday-Jan10

Another raining day.....rain rain rain....

Been a bit restless lately, maybe due to too many holiday?? of course i am not complaining it.. just that i find it hard to go back to work... See...Chinese new year end of the month, from Jan29 to Jan31. Eat and eat, sure grow fat!!

Was at work yesterday and my collegue show me in her pc, the photographs that she took in Ministry of Sound ( a new night spot in town that open just last month )..
We went there after our D&D.

Is really fun with a group of colleagues.We drank, drunk, dance, play games....some puke like me, some fall, some strip like me, some cry, some enjoy like me...haha...what a night. I manage to reach home by 430am. Goodness, is not easy to drive when u drank so much .... lucky nothing happened.

I truely enjoy that night of fun and god, i am blessed with fun and caring friends around me. Thank you...

Been raining this week... so can only stay home play game or read.. find that there is so much thing can be done...just lack of time.

Jan09-Monday

Been 2 weeks since i last update my blog. So what have i been up to?? Well, festive seasons so a good reason to eat and have fun. Reality soon settle in... how much weight i gain..hmmm, i dunno...guess the machine at home is not that functioning...anyway, so much fun that night after the D&D, last friday.

The theme for this year Dinner and Dance is around the world, and our table we dress up as a cow-boy. It suits me as i am tall and handsome..:P and the BEST thing is i was also being pull up to that stage for some dance thing with the 2 PRETTY dancers!!
I will never forget that night...

I even win in the lucky-draw. number 19....so far away huh...A package to a photo studio for family photo taking. I was actually a bit disppointed then but come to think about it, my family never took any studio shoot before and i will never come up with this idea. So in a way, maybe is a blessing.

Will write more when i am in office....now i am late for work..

MerryChristmas,Sunday- Dec25

Is a sunday morning, christmas day morning. No snow, no bell, no money...

Well, in life what do u want? I just wish to be happy. Happy at work, happy in love, happy with friends, happy with no worries. I think that is not easy to achieve... Why? Because living in singapore is expensive, i got to pay this, pay that. I can said that my bonus already 100% gone....cos everything goes to pay the bill..... when can i start saving? save me and my old age... Maybe i ask for too much, end up this is the price that i had to pay. All i am askin is to have a comforable life, maybe i am just too materialistic, huh? I should control!!

Life have been good lately, i must say. Especially after i started my meditation, feels good. I hope to achieve a better life, a more creative mind and a more rewarding self development.

What year 2006 install for me? i wish for world peace.

Merry Christmas to all that are reading this....I love you.

Wed-Dec14

Came Back from KL yesterday. Been a good rest, we usually start our day at 9am, with breakfast in the hotel then shop till 3pm. Back to hotel for a nap. after a good rest we will then start shopping again...:) Although we walked a lot but i guess we control our money quite well.... end up i only bought few t shirt and dvds.

I truely enjoy the shopping a lot, i wish i can go again next year. Is fun to drive up and take a short break.

Will be on leave today and tomorrow. Will be back to office on friday, for gift exchange. :) fun fun fun...

May go for meditation lesson later in the evening. will see how it goes ....

Sat-Dec17

We are leaving for KL tomorrow, Sunday morning.We will be there till Tuesday, a short break. Staying at our favourite hotel, the Istana. Life suddenly move slow for me...maybe lately my job was on a fast lane and now on leave...everything seems slow down...Feels also very restless.

Will be back to office on Dec23 for the gift ex-change. Everyone is in holiday mood.
Wish i am in Grand Junction. If u wanna know where that is. Go yahoo and search for it. hahaha...

Verner, Merry Christmas and i will save up enough to visit u next christmas!

Relax Sunday- Dec11

I had a very stress work days last week...never been that bad before. Everything is in a stressful situation and people watching over me.I am truely glad that all turn out well and i am on safe ground. The last few days has been a passing phase.... can't think of much thing. My mind is telling me to rest and relax... end up i went for a movie with Fran. Aero Flux...not bad a movie and is very stylishly done. Reading in Border after the movie..i know i am insane to keep lookin for books on spirtual or tarot..hahaha... anyway is some good reading material...

Sunday, a very slow day... i think i am lazy in natural....cos i basically do nothing the whole day... hahaha

Making plan for christmas...dunno where to go...so sian...

Happy Weekend- Nov27

Finally come to weekend..Really looking forward to this day as I had booked a musical several weeks ago and today, 26nov is the day. It was also intentionaly Fran birthday gift. It rained very heavily in the morning when i am picking Fran up from his office. Luckily nothing happened..cos i almost knock into a lamp pole.

RENT, about the lives and loves of a group of struggling young artist, gay, lesb and straight. I love the music and the act since I watched many years ago. Karan act and sing well in the show and I am glad that I catched this ...

After the show, was about evening time... Decided to go funan for dinner...The objective is really to go to somewhere nearby to take aura photo...Indeed a unique and special moment for me. As u can see I am in light of orange/yellow..
and the explanation is so me...:) I am glad that it did not show the ugly me as the light is all over me..hahaha... They also include a quite detail explaination of the light zone and its meaning.. The picture is not ex and cost a merely $10, i strongly encourage whoever into discovering themselve, go and get one soon...



It tells that on the rightside(expression...The color that I putting out to the world...) My color is green/yellow: the world sees me as cheerful, happy and confident. Yellow is the color of sunshine, warmth and intellectual capability, while green is the color of healing, self confident and discipline. Ochre, a blending of these two colors show that i am an optimistic, practical and thoughtful attitude. I may often find myself in the center of attention or in a leadership role...( I know that i am a happy man, only under certain situation that will put me down. It sounds quite true and accurate )

On the center(experience...The color that seen over my head now...The color that best describe me, or what I wish to be)...M color is orange: I can't help expressing myself creatively! I am an artist at heart and march to the beat of different drummer. Right now I am feeling powerful I have the energy, enthusiasm, confident and will to accomplish anything that I desire. Orange is also the color of originality and independence....( I know that there is a change in me lately, maybe due to the change of role and team in the office, the whole me feels different. I am in a more relax position. I am still trying to adjust myself to the whole situation)

On the Left side(future...The color or vibration coming into my being)...My color is Golden orange: my future is bound to be thought provoking as well as highly creative. Activity generating energy is coming into my field. This shade of golden orange is a mixture of active red and intellectual yellow. In this position of my auric field indicates that a very creative and intellectually stimulating future lies in store for me. Inspired ideas are already unfolding within me. I also can enjoy life as I wish...( I truely believe something is going to happen, cos i have call up for a lesson of healing workshop. It is something new and exciting to me. Next sunday is the day and i really looking forward to it, I am sure there is a big change coming)

On the throat(Communication...Is traditionally the energy being expressed)...My color is Golden orange: I can't help expressing myself joyfully and creatively. Happiness, excitement and humor is what I most desire in my life. I spread sunshine wherever I go. My voice is my instrument. I may enjoy singing, acting, telling jokes and stories or just chatting with friends... People find me a pleasurable, lively and entertaining companion. I am warm, outgoing and sociable.( This i have to admit, I like to share my happiness and small talk to whoever knows me..Oveall i hope i am a fun guy that people like to hang around with)

On the heart(Empathy...The vibration coming into my being)...My color is green/yellow: what I desired in life is to heal and nuture others with my humor and optimistic. I am fun-loving and carefree yet I feel a responsibility and desire to counsel and help people with their problems and challenges. I have deep insight and empathy into what others are experiencing, but I have the unique ability to remain centered and amused when all else is falling into chaos around me. My humor is often my strength and saving grace.( Well, maybe because of where i am now, a senior in the company, i really need to look after some junior colleague. In my heart i feels that we are all adult, we should know the limits to the fun and should concentrate in job when the time call)

On the Solar Plexis( normally the center vibration of my being, associated with power, money...It is also the center of self esteem and ego)... My color is yellow: Like the rising sun, yellow brings forth warmth and light. Yellow are representative of the intellect. Each shade or tint of yellow expresses a type of function, ability or expression of the intellect. I am filled with a sense of excitement and joy. I probably feel happy and confident as I discovered my life's work. I have the confident to accomplish anything I desire to do. I laugh easily and are amused by life.( well i do enjoy my job to an extend, So far i am happy there. Now with most of my debt clear, i am happy to be able to enjoy it more without thinking too much on how much more money that i need to folk out)

Should I leave out the color for sex..heehee that a bit too personal mann...Hahaha...Anyway the color is GOLDEN ORANGE...Also means for friendship, socializing, having fun and being myself are what I wish to focus on now. I make my work and chores a pleasure and strive to enjoy every moment. I have a great sense of humor and laugh easily. My life is a fun and creative project. I am also able to relate to others in a warm, open and friendly way. ( yeah, i am enjoying my life now. At this age of mine, i dont wanna lead a boring and restless life. That is why i go gym, roller brading and now my passion is find out more abt the spiritual me)

On the root( traditionally the energy of the physical plane and material reality)..
My color is yellow: Fun is what I am concentrate on now. No matter what I am doing, it needs to be an enjoyable experience. I may be successful in my business if it is fun and creative for me. The world sees me as cheerful, happy, playful, carefree and lucky. Yellow is the color of sunshine and warmth.. My personality is definitely outgoing and optimistic. I may often find myself the center of attention, others see me as radiant and self-expressive.( Well, guess that i am a born designer huh hahaha. Not born to be rich, that means)

OK...The last is the summary...My overall( Summarizes the color intensities of the various elements of my aura(chakras) and the overall condition of my being: My color is GOLD.... In the near future I will have the opportunities to be an inspiration to many people. I glow with a beautiful inner light that people instantly recognize and respond to. I am full of hope, inspiration, utopian ideals and zeal. I easily inspire others with my optimism and excitement with new ideas. I have quick, curious mind always happy and hungry for new learning. I am happy to be what I am and I feel confident to accomplish anything that I want. ( A inspiration to many people?? wow what a big role and i dun think i am such a person, I means my character wasnt that out spoken...will see how it leads me to...True that i like to learn new things, but how long the passion will last? i dunno..i was also known to only have 3mins passion type of guy....hahaha...)

wow ....God...This is the longest blog I ever write hahaha...Indeed it is an experience or lesson learned from the aura photo, it teach me and tell me who I am..
for friends who knows me...This is me...

Tired Sunday- Nov20

That was 15 days, two weeks ago since i last update my blog.... guess i am too lazy nowadays.....had a terrible flu last few day..finally got some rest and feels much better now...

It was a horrify night last night...went to bed at 110am and woke up from my short term dream....open up my big black eyes...into the dark, i think i saw something...
trying to figure out what the F is that...and it seems clearer to me that is a face of a girl....end up i scream so loud and on and on.. never been so extreme in my life.. my brother and mom who are in the living room thought the scream was from the TV..hahaha...but hell that really scare the hell out of me... i dare not close my eyes... in the dark... in my open and empty mind ....i waited..time just stood still.. finally i on my bedside lamp... feels so awake...( remember i took the flu medication earlier before i go to bed..) decided to read and keep myself busy and ....i only manage to sleep at 4am...wake up again at 5:59am..thinking to myself..soon the sun will be out...

I wake up with a very tired mind and god.... so so sleepy.... anyway i am ok now..i will light up my candle now before i go to sleep so that at least i wont wake up in the pitch dark room...

Time to sleep now... and tomorrow is another new day...

Birdie day- Nov05

Today is my family day.... bird park... didnt been there for years... and still the same old bird... to me, zoo is still my favourite... more things to see...looking at colorful bird dun do anything to me.. sian..

Went to IMM after the birdpark... finally booked a set of plasma and home theatre system...something that i had been eyeing for quite awhile... I know Fran won't be happy about it cos i didn't plan it well.... He is a more pratical person and i am more impulsive...when i wanna something i will want it badly !!! Yes...that is me..

Will install on Tuesday...hmmm imagine a 42" tv on my living room wall..that really excite me now...hehehe... and able to watch action movie on it....with the sound effect ....i guess i may not visit cinema for awhile now...

I told my mom just now... that i am the sort that enjoy life at its moment..i know i know is bad in a way.... But now with most of my debt clear..i would wanna buy myself something to cheer myself up..hehehe...

Tomorrow...sunday...planning to go gym and back to office for some work... otherwise i will have a hard time on monday...

Verner, i am ok now...dun worry..when is your sg trip?? looking forward to see u soon..

Wes thanks for being such a dear friend to me.....

Fran, wat can i say.... love you...

Sunday-Oct30

Went to East Coast for roller blading yesterday, was a bit worry as this is my first blade after my backaches recover. No pain, no fall...is a enjoyable time and i truely love it. Went for a movie( the 40 years old virgin )...trying to be funny yet didnt strike me that much, unlike KungFu hustler which really give me a good laugh.

Coming week will be a easy week. As next Tuesday and Thurday is public holiday so we jus need to work 1, 3 and 5.... hmmm and can work rest work rest... didnt plan much..
just live the day by day...

Live life like the last day of my life...-Oct29

Sat, the day that i can sleep late... been feeling tired and ache over the last few days since visited Liu ShiFu...He is good, i must say....my pain had really improve a lot!!! and i am glad that i am ok now...

Friday, yesterday....what a day...interview with my boss, and got my appraisal signed.. was surprise how he look at me...anyway is a good thing even through i am not sure is that sincere...

Happy hour.... company holding a 9 course dinner after work to celebrate a success of an event that was held not long ago...lucky draw...ME!!! got a pair of concert ticket to Teresa teng musical tribute...not my cup of tea..most likely will give it to Fran's parent..

During dinner, my big boss came over and wanna me to go japan next week for a show..
a oversea trip, some where that i never go before.. not really keen to go either... just not in the right mood.... will see how...

Planning to go roller blading this afternoon...going to pick Fran later..got a vase from one of my colleague... so tempted to get some fresh flower... i guess all happy people like flower...hahaha...

I am silly, always do stupid and silly stuffs.... I am really glad to have friends like Wes, Kat and SG. They help and look out for me a lot.... Sounds silly... at the age 34 i am still metally simple...well, that is me...

The Best Joke of the day-Oct25

The Best joke of the day....

one of my aunts said: so son now you are 35 why don't you get married??
one of my cousins replied: you are 65 why don't you die??
The aunt nearly had a heart attack..
some aunts can irritate the shit yout of your arse...

Crazy day, Crazy me-Oct24

I must say, life treated me well...surrounded with good friends, family and good sex.
hahaha... Wes, thanks again for the frightening phone call, i will remind myself not to make the same mistake again and Kat for giving me good advise on how to handle things.

The problem with me is... i dun think too much..to concern about other's problem which i can joyly well give it a miss...must learn to reject! Yeah you Mxther Fxxker Fxxk Oxx...hehhehe...

Been amost a week since i last update...yes i am lazy and lazy... what else can i say....been lazy about work...about love...about life...

The wonder feeling of that spiritual stuff has over..and now i am in this cruel happy world...sign....struggling to make a living.... been calaculating my saving and expenses lately...goodness really can't live without a full time job...everything is expensive in singapore and i am a BIG spender...

Went to Habour front with Fran to look see at big sales on tv...been wanting to get one tv for my living room. Is really crowded out there.... and i have a real tight budget...and realise that 42" plasma is super big in my that tiny small living room..
so make up my mind to zoom down to a 32" LCD...so scan through the whole store...found ONE! make in singapore...hmmm....would i want to get a LCD tv, a singapore brand at $1800 or get a jap brand that cost almost double....ma de.. end up i decided to wait till christmas for price to drop further and save up more money.
Think too much end up buy nothing and spend all the money away... hahaha...

Eugene came over...he is really a good pal... lot of jokes and stories to share.. i feels good with him. He has been very helpful to me in life and also in saving cost for my house reno! I must said that my house reno is basic and yet is cosy and please to lay man eyes.... i like the earth tone finishing. easy feeling,relax and casual... I did my basic when i moved in one year ago and now thought of doing a sliding door to kitchen, a shoe rack, and also one of my bedroom cabinet. After that my house will be fully done up... And i will live happily ever after...alone?

Boring Tuesday-Oct18

Another boring Tuesday again!!! hahaha....work was slow, so everything is in slow motion..and need to act hard working also...sian..I will be on leave coming thursday to next tuesday..so can have a real good rest...

Will also do a detoxing coming sunday to tues... three days...read can lose at lease 3 kg...hehee must look charming at this old age!!!

Nov is coming and 2 months later 2005 will be over ....really looking forward to it.
Life will be beautiful ....

Bought a pair of ticket to the musical RENT....really expensive to me but is a birthday gift to fran... I really love Rent..watched once and i simply love it!!

:)

Meditation-Oct12

Followed my cousin to the reading...been quite into these stuffs lately..the lady taught me a method of meditation....

First, sit on a chair both hand on lap...relax and close your eyes....deep breath and let out the air slowly...feel the air in your middle of stomach.....and also need to imagine there is roots growing into the ground.... thus it will tie you to earth. do it for 2 mins and slowly increase to 3 mins...max at 5 mins...

It says to help in concentration and also focus in whatever we do in our daily live.

Life can be so un-predicable huh....or life can be just a box of chocolate...and that will makes u FAT! hahaha...

To me, life can be hard but since we already make it so far, just might as well live it to the fullest and be a happy man....have a good heart, think no evil...i know is hard sometime...we are still human....whatever it is just be a good human in this earth...cheers..